Ferber

I was researching for a school paper on secure (versus insecure) emotional attachments and came across the Ferber method. I don't understand it and though I have not read any empirical articles telling about long term results, it doesn't mesh with anything that I have read about healthy attachment forming and development. I am in disagreement with the severity of this practice. If one of my children cried until he or she vomited, I would do more than walk into the bedroom, stoically clean up the mess, then walk out to let him or her resume the cycle. I think that 15 minutes of crying is extreme and that not being responded to makes children that young shut down-- not self-soothe (and I believe that there is a big difference between the two).

This page was actually biased in favor of the method:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc

lastly, I have to say that when I first wrote this post, I was a bit insensitive and I didn't really write the reasons why I disagree with this method. I apologize for that if anyone took offense.

More Post Secret

Because I am a big nerd and I love it

February

Dar Williams

I threw your keys in the water, I looked back,
Theyd frozen halfway down in the ice.
They froze up so quickly, the keys and their owners,
Even after the anger, it all turned silent, and
The everyday turned solitary,
So we came to February.

First we forgot where we'd planted those bulbs last year,
Then we forgot that we'd planted at all,
Then we forgot what plants are altogether,
and I blamed you for my freezing and forgetting and
The nights were long and cold and scary,
Can we live through February?

You know I think Christmas was a long red glare,
Shot up like a warning, we gave presents without cards,
And then the snow,
And then the snow came, we were always out shoveling,
And we'd drop to sleep exhausted,
Then we'd wake up, and its snowing.

And February was so long that it lasted into March
And found us walking a path alone together.
You stopped and pointed and you said, "Thats a crocus,"
And I said, "Whats a crocus?" and you said, "Its a flower,"
I tried to remember, but I said, "Whats a flower?"
You said, "I still love you."

The leaves were turning as we drove to the hardware store,
My new lover made me keys to the house,
And when we got home, well we just started chopping wood,
Because you never know how next year will be,
And we'll gather all our arms can carry,
I have lost to February.

Colic

Noah has been doing really well. He is almost three weeks old now and is really filling in. At his 2 week appointment, he was 1lb above his birthweight. He has great head control and can go from side to side when put on his back. I do, however, suspect that he is developing colic. The past 2 nights have been spent trying to make him comfortable and happy as he screamed his head off for HOURS on end. He was clean, fed, burped, and warm, and nothing has worked to make him content. The three or so hours of crying generally stop at around 2am and he sleeps through the rest of the night. Lea has a white noise machine in her room that I turn on after she falls asleep (Germans are REALLY loud at the wee hours and it helps her sleep in), so she is unaffected by the ruckus. Miles has been in the guest bedroom until I can somehow move Noah from our bed to the cosleeper because he's a thrasher in his sleep and does everything to punching out in his dreams to biting (that was a pleasant surprise!!!). This leaves me, which is actually better because I don't have the compounded stress of trying to keep Noah quiet for the sake of someone else's sleep.

I am also left with the search for colic cures. . . or at least easers. I gulp down chamomile and sleepy time tea throughout the day, and I am going milk free for a while to make sure it's not that. . . if this fails, I am going to do the unthinkable and cut wheat as well. I don't drink caffeine after noon, and I really don't think that my 2 cups of morning joe cause his screaming at midnight. I have a cherry pit warm pillow that I try on his stomach, but outside of the carseat, it only serves to piss him off. I have tried leg pumping and tummy rubs, but to no avail. My pediatrician suggested Metallica, but I am not ready for that drastic a step. I would try his swing, but I haven't gotten over my hang-ups from his cyanosis episode, and I have read studies that say that a partially upright position for prolonged periods can lead to SIDS.

Poor little fella. He's a sweet, cuddly little thing and it kills me to hear him crying. Any suggestions??