Yesterday was pretty awful. I woke up just not feeling right. After taking Lea to the park and later laying her down for her nap, all I wanted to do was lay down myself. Soon I was experiencing some rather intense cramping followed by bleeding. Miles had been sitting with me and we were both worried enough to wake Lea and go to the ER. Hours later, I was told that although the pregnancy seems to be “okay”, there is bleeding at my uterine wall where the embryo is attempting to implant. Failure of the embryo to implant causes about three-fourths of lost pregnancies, and I am now at significant risk for miscarriage. There is nothing that I can do. No bed rest could help this and the doctor said that I could go running and it wouldn’t sway the outcome either way. Now I am waiting to see what happens and I am trying not to get depressed over this.
On that note, I am so thankful for Lea and for the fact that Miles is here with me. Something similar happened during my pregnancy with Lea (though it wasn’t exactly the same and I was put on partial bed rest with her), and now I have a perfectly healthy and wonderful little girl. I had to go through these same emotions alone before and having Miles with me now has made a world of difference. This may very well work out. So here’s hoping.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
So this was week was week 2 of Lea's swim classes. It is so much fun and my neighbor and I bought 10 more classes for our girls. They have the lessons in a heated (but not hot) mineral pool inside of a spa that is designed to look like a Greek bathhouse (minus the orgies). It's so cool! The classes have been a lot of fun. My neighbor has to translate for me, but it works out. I feel so blessed that I have her in my life because she is one of the few things keeping me from a state of complete social isolation. Anyways, Lea did really well in her classes this week and I am pretty sure that she loves them. She looks adorable in a pair of swimmies.
So I went yesterday to have blood work done so that I can get a referral to an OB, and they confirmed that I am indeed pregnant. I am nervous in that first trimester kind of way. I think that, day and night, some corner of my brain is always begging God for a healthy baby.
So 7 days ago, we boarded Roscoe for the week. He has been VERY destructive sine we've been in Germany. the mouse incidednt was the iceburg's tip. Last week I was gone for an hour and returned to find the bathroom DESTROYED. 5 rolls of chewed up toilet paper sitting over an entire bag's worth of scattered potting soil complete with sporadic bits of piss and poo littered the bathroom. He obviously hadn't wanted me to go. It took hours to scrub out of the grout and I decided that we needed a little break. The place I took him allows the cats and dogs to run freely through the house and is only 2 Euro per day. They also have several small animals in sturdy cages that they keep up. I warned them, I really did. I told them that Ros is a killer, but 2 slaughtered rats and a Guinea pig later, I don't think that our dog will be welcomed back. Ugh.
So I went yesterday to have blood work done so that I can get a referral to an OB, and they confirmed that I am indeed pregnant. I am nervous in that first trimester kind of way. I think that, day and night, some corner of my brain is always begging God for a healthy baby.
So 7 days ago, we boarded Roscoe for the week. He has been VERY destructive sine we've been in Germany. the mouse incidednt was the iceburg's tip. Last week I was gone for an hour and returned to find the bathroom DESTROYED. 5 rolls of chewed up toilet paper sitting over an entire bag's worth of scattered potting soil complete with sporadic bits of piss and poo littered the bathroom. He obviously hadn't wanted me to go. It took hours to scrub out of the grout and I decided that we needed a little break. The place I took him allows the cats and dogs to run freely through the house and is only 2 Euro per day. They also have several small animals in sturdy cages that they keep up. I warned them, I really did. I told them that Ros is a killer, but 2 slaughtered rats and a Guinea pig later, I don't think that our dog will be welcomed back. Ugh.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
For Mother's Day, Two
Faintly positive EPTs as of yesterday evening and this morning. I am going to the doctor's ASAP to confirm, but from the way that I have been feeling the past few days, my hopes are pretty high. Why am I announcing so early? Well, for one, I think that like 2 people read my blog, and if things were to go wrong, I would want to talk about it.
I have some things to think about. First on the list of things that I can immediately do to help my sea monkey is make yesterday's my last cup of coffee for a long while. No more ridiculous amounts of candy, either (those who know me know that I generally can polish off a bag of Good and Plentys daily).
I want to be healthier this time than I was last time. When I was pregnant with Lea, I gained close to 60 lbs. I had so many people telling me in the start that I was too skinny and unhealthy looking that I quickly developed the habit of overeating. The weight made me hurt in horrible ways and it was a bitch to lose. I will be happy if I gain 30 lbs (give or take)this go around. I will not obsess over not gaining weight, but I am not going to stuff myself "for the baby". It's really not good for anyone.
I have a little one who just woke up, so I will leave off here. If you pray, please send a prayer our way. Happy Mother's Day to you moms.
I have some things to think about. First on the list of things that I can immediately do to help my sea monkey is make yesterday's my last cup of coffee for a long while. No more ridiculous amounts of candy, either (those who know me know that I generally can polish off a bag of Good and Plentys daily).
I want to be healthier this time than I was last time. When I was pregnant with Lea, I gained close to 60 lbs. I had so many people telling me in the start that I was too skinny and unhealthy looking that I quickly developed the habit of overeating. The weight made me hurt in horrible ways and it was a bitch to lose. I will be happy if I gain 30 lbs (give or take)this go around. I will not obsess over not gaining weight, but I am not going to stuff myself "for the baby". It's really not good for anyone.
I have a little one who just woke up, so I will leave off here. If you pray, please send a prayer our way. Happy Mother's Day to you moms.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Three Years
Today marks three years that Miles and I have been married. I weaseled my anniversary present out of him a day early and *YAY!* I got an Amazon Kindle. It's kind of like an ipod for books. I am so excited and my first book was the Kite Runner. I just read One Thousand Splendid Suns by the same author and bawled like a baby throughout. It was just amazing.
Anyways, present aside, I am pretty happy. Our road has not been easy by anyone's definition. In April of 2005, we were introduced by a mutual friend. Miles had been pestering him for months to set up a meeting and Wells (said mutual friend) was hesitant because he knew that I had a few hostile feelings towards men at that moment. A nightmare of a previous relationship will do that to you. Wells and Miles were only really friendly through work. They had to correspond through emails and had never actually met face to face. One day Wells was at the chow hall and ran into the nametag "Blanco". They sat down and ate together. Shortly afterwards, Well was sufficiently charmed into introducing us. This was a process I knew nothing about until much later. Apparently Miles had been bragging for quite a while that we were going to get married. . . even though I had no idea that he existed. Stalker :)
So anyways, I was working a 10am to 10 pm shift (I should mention that we were in Iraq) and Miles was working a 12am to 12pm. So after my shift I met wells outside where he was working and there was Miles. We went for a walk, and about 5 steps into it, I tripped on a wire and practically fell on my face. Miles always insists on telling this part because he said that that was when he knew for sure that I was the one. SO we walked and eventually sat down and talked until his shift. Our conversation was frequently halted by the firefight taking place less than a mile from where we sat. Through our whole first meeting, I never really saw his face because it was so dark out. When we started walking back, we passed under a light and I was thankful that I hadn't seen how hot he was before because I would have spent the whole conversation stuttering had I known. I would have fallen a lot more, too.
In the next few weeks, we saw eachother here and there. We were getting ready to leave and neither of us had any more time for 2 hour walks. I didn't even know if I would see him again when we got to Ft Drum. We had no cell phones yet and he was going home a week before me.
When I arrived home to the Welcome Home Ceremony, Miles was there looking rather adorable. My dad was also there. He later told me how nice he thought Miles was and asked if we were an item. I think I said something like "he's too pretty, and I think he knows it". This is something my dad still teases me for.
So now I am writing a book so I will wrap it up. It took us another 4 or 5 months to start dating. We both had baggage from previous relationships that we had to cut out of our lives. We were friends through it all and we traveled everywhere. When my brother had a stroke, it was Miles who drove me to see him. He was my best friend and has never stopped being this to me. We were stationed apart when we were married. We didn't actually live together until April of 08 when he arived home from a 15 month deployment to Iraq. He missed most of my pregnancy and most of Lea's first 6 months on this deployment. It was hard. We worked though it. This anniversary finds us in a good place both physically and in our relationship. I thank God for Miles every day.
!PS! We are officially TTC
Anyways, present aside, I am pretty happy. Our road has not been easy by anyone's definition. In April of 2005, we were introduced by a mutual friend. Miles had been pestering him for months to set up a meeting and Wells (said mutual friend) was hesitant because he knew that I had a few hostile feelings towards men at that moment. A nightmare of a previous relationship will do that to you. Wells and Miles were only really friendly through work. They had to correspond through emails and had never actually met face to face. One day Wells was at the chow hall and ran into the nametag "Blanco". They sat down and ate together. Shortly afterwards, Well was sufficiently charmed into introducing us. This was a process I knew nothing about until much later. Apparently Miles had been bragging for quite a while that we were going to get married. . . even though I had no idea that he existed. Stalker :)
So anyways, I was working a 10am to 10 pm shift (I should mention that we were in Iraq) and Miles was working a 12am to 12pm. So after my shift I met wells outside where he was working and there was Miles. We went for a walk, and about 5 steps into it, I tripped on a wire and practically fell on my face. Miles always insists on telling this part because he said that that was when he knew for sure that I was the one. SO we walked and eventually sat down and talked until his shift. Our conversation was frequently halted by the firefight taking place less than a mile from where we sat. Through our whole first meeting, I never really saw his face because it was so dark out. When we started walking back, we passed under a light and I was thankful that I hadn't seen how hot he was before because I would have spent the whole conversation stuttering had I known. I would have fallen a lot more, too.
In the next few weeks, we saw eachother here and there. We were getting ready to leave and neither of us had any more time for 2 hour walks. I didn't even know if I would see him again when we got to Ft Drum. We had no cell phones yet and he was going home a week before me.
When I arrived home to the Welcome Home Ceremony, Miles was there looking rather adorable. My dad was also there. He later told me how nice he thought Miles was and asked if we were an item. I think I said something like "he's too pretty, and I think he knows it". This is something my dad still teases me for.
So now I am writing a book so I will wrap it up. It took us another 4 or 5 months to start dating. We both had baggage from previous relationships that we had to cut out of our lives. We were friends through it all and we traveled everywhere. When my brother had a stroke, it was Miles who drove me to see him. He was my best friend and has never stopped being this to me. We were stationed apart when we were married. We didn't actually live together until April of 08 when he arived home from a 15 month deployment to Iraq. He missed most of my pregnancy and most of Lea's first 6 months on this deployment. It was hard. We worked though it. This anniversary finds us in a good place both physically and in our relationship. I thank God for Miles every day.
!PS! We are officially TTC
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